Johnny Case in Wonderland . . . hopelessly adrift in popular culture

So you know how the national news has been reporting nonstop on the snowpocalypse in the Pacific northwest?  Yeah, that happened, as you can tell from this shot of the backyard of the Smythsonian, my beloved Bedford Falls manse:

Here’s the thing though: it’s only an event because the NW refuses to deal with snow.  I was in Seattle during a “snowstorm” a few years back during which it snowed maybe 3 inches in a 24 hour period and people literally parked their cars on Interstate 5 and walked away.  I’m not a snow person—in fact, I’m well known as one who detests the snow and cold—but in another lifetime I once lived in Chicago for a winter (yup, it was for a girl), i.e. a place where it actually snows.  A lot.  And yet it’s no problem.  They salt, they plow, and life goes on apace.  But most towns up in this part of the world, including Bedford Falls, don’t own snowplows.  They subcontract with hillbillies who have bulldozer blades attached to the front of their 4 x 4s, and even then, only after days of snow.  The bulldozers don’t plow so much as they scrape the surface snow to the side of the road, which hermetically seals any cars parked there in a snowbank and leaves the roads encased in a solid 5 inch thick sheath of ice.  It would be better if they didn’t “plow” at all.  The thinking goes that municipalities investing in snow removal equipment would be a waste of money because it doesn’t really snow much up here, and that’s mostly true, except for the few times a year—every year—that it does snow, during which we’re f***ed for much longer than we otherwise would be because they don’t own plows, they don’t salt the roads, and they don’t even lay sand.  The public schools were cancelled yesterday as a result of 3 inches of snow.  3 inches!  Washington governor Christine Gregoire has declared a state of emergency and called in the National Guard.  Seriously.  Yeah, I’m annoyed and embarrassed.  Here’s the view from the front port of the Smythsonian on this, day three of the snowpocalypse.  Keep in mind that it hasn’t snowed in well over 24 hours and also note that under normal circumstances there is a road between my yard and the houses across the street.